I am a life coach which immediately creates a response in people such as “what is that?”, “I don’t need one” “what makes you qualified?” “is your life perfect?”, “isn’t life coaching a scam?”, “why not get a real job” to “I love life coaching”, “my life coach is amazing”, “best money I ever spent”, “I need a life coach”, “how do I get started?” etc….
One thing that life coaches often come upon is their own “stuff” as a reflection of how valuable they can be as a coach. I have many coaching friends and we reflect on this often. Ultimately we are all human and will ALWAYS have areas to evolve and grow into. I recently (about a year and a half ago) went through the equivalent of “The Tower” in the tarot deck. A complete and total destruction of my life as I knew it. I was on the path of complete bliss, and even found myself wondering if such goodness could even be real, when BAM!! it all “got taken away from me”—more on that in another blog post. How could something like this happen?? Wasn’t I doing all the work, personal, mental, emotional, spiritual required? Wasn’t I assuring my security and safety by practicing all my coaching tools? I know many of the already skeptical people were probably thinking “Ha! See! That life-coaching shit doesn’t work, your life is now a huge mess! Either you are a terrible coach or there is no value to coaching”. These were dark times, amidst a heavy HEAVY broken heart I found myself questioning EVERYTHING about my belief system. It felt like I had genuinely lost everything I had been moving toward in an instant. In those first few weeks it was just survive (and tons of denial), but even amidst the shock I noticed, too, a tiny whispering voice that said “you needed this”—I tuned it out, clearly I was in too much pain to believe it just yet. How could this “tragedy” offer relief?? Yet the whispering voice was steadfast. I didn’t embrace it until months later, and then it was clear that yes, what was “taken away from me” and this “tragedy” was the wrapping paper of a gift of what comes when you clear away things that in the end WERE holding you back, and you just didn’t want to admit it, the Universe doesn’t let you fool yourself for long.
I had to make some hard choices, and I saw myself through the worst pain in my life. When we lose everything we know, when our compass is suddenly snatched out of our hands, it seems impossible to find stability or navigation. But that is why this work, this call to go further into our own unknown/untapped resources IS the magic we are becoming better at employing.
I did not believe myself to be strong or capable, often in a heap on the floor crying, heavy with grief, while I showed a strong and brave face to the outside world (god! How many of us carry these “hidden burdens” from each other!). But because of that breaking open I discovered I am ACTUALLY strong and capable, and sometimes we don’t want those lessons. But there is no way to know what we are capable of without being thrown in the flames. I am here to tell you that if I was able to come out of that level of destruction in my own life there is no one alive who couldn’t.
I always wanted to follow someone as they actually went from hugging the cold hard floor, complete rock bottom, all the way through until they reached their version of fulfillment. I have only come upon people that are already at the top and while they are hugely inspiring I really want to relate to someone as they move from point A (rock bottom) to point B (freedom). I was unable to find a coach like that on my journey. And suddenly it became exciting to be that for someone else. Although, thankfully, I am now quite a few months out from the pain, I am close enough to understand someone who is currently deep in it, or someone who is ready to stand a few steps further than they may find themselves in at the moment. Being in acute pain is so difficult and thankfully there are quicker ways out of it. Thank you coaching!
Sometimes the pain we feel is simply from our own minds. But if you are struggling with something (including just plain old negative thinking) know that it can shift, and faster than you probably know right now. Trusting can feel so hard when we feel like we have been left in complete darkness, but there is always a way back out. I guarantee it. If you’re up to it, come alongside my journey and commit to practicing new things in your own life as I uncover them in this blog.