I am a life coach which immediately creates a response in people such as “what is that?”, “I don’t need one” “what makes you qualified?” “is your life perfect?”, “isn’t life coaching a scam?”, “why not get a real job” to “I love life coaching”, “my life coach is amazing”, “best money I ever spent”, “I need a life coach”, “how do I get started?” etc….
One thing that life coaches often come upon is their own “stuff” as a reflection of how valuable they can be as a coach. I have many coaching friends and we reflect on this often. Ultimately we are all human and will ALWAYS have areas to evolve and grow into. Many of you may know that I recently (about 10 months ago) went through the equivalent of “The Tower” in the tarot deck. A complete and total destruction of my life as I knew it. I was on the path of complete bliss, and even found myself wondering if such goodness could even be real, when BAM!! it all “got taken away from me”—more on that in another blog post. How could something like this happen?? Wasn’t I doing all the work, personal, mental, emotional, spiritual required? Wasn’t I assuring my security and safety by practicing all my coaching tools? I know many of the already skeptical people were probably thinking “Ha! See! That life-coaching nonsense doesn’t work, your life is now a huge mess! Either you are a terrible coach or there is no value to coaching”. These were dark times, amidst a heavy heavy broken heart I found myself questioning EVERYTHING about my belief system. It felt like I had genuinely lost everything I had been moving toward in an instant. In those first few weeks it was just survive (and tons of denial), but even amidst the shock I noticed, too, a tiny whispering voice that said “you are free!”—I didn’t want to listen to this voice though because clearly I was in too much pain to believe that there was goodness still left. How could this “tragedy” offer relief?? Yet the whispering voice was steadfast. I wasn’t quite ready to embrace it until months later, and then it was clear that yes, what was “taken away from me” and this “tragedy” were the wrapping paper of a gift so significant, I still reel at the sequence of events that unfolded. And I will share more on that in coming blogs. Still in those early months I did just keep pushing forward believing I had lost everything and doing my best to keep what was left afloat.
I had to make some hard choices, and I saw myself through the worst pain in my life as I also lifted myself up. The emotional work was daunting and I had to take it on, there was no more important task. The finances, the bills, the responsibilities felt difficult but no where near as vital as keeping my emotional mind on track.
But I am not here to tell you how wonderful and strong I am, for one that was not what I was believing about myself in those moments anyway, I just wanted to make it through another day. I am here to tell you that if I was able to come out of that level of destruction in my own life there is no one alive who couldn’t. That even when we “have it all” we are still called to grow more and sometimes it does come in ways that hurt, and bad. But, again, I know I needed that “shaking up” to show myself what I was made of in blissful moments as well as the darkest moments. I am becoming fearless, an adjective that felt impossible to claim for myself. I want this for all of us, fearlessness. Freedom from fear, from the waves that life will have us ride for the sake of our personal evolution.
I have so much to share, we all do, and we all should for the sake of helping ourselves and each other. The “bad” stuff will keep happening but we get to decide how much and for how long it knocks us down. But if you are struggling with something (including just plain old negative thinking) know that it can shift, and faster than you probably know right now. Trusting can feel so hard when we feel like we have been left in complete darkness, but there is always a way back out. I guarantee it. If you’re up to coming alongside me through my self-imposed challenge to see myself out of this recent “set-back” in as much of a public form as I can, please do so and share your journey too! I will be sharing a lot more in the coming days/weeks so you can get a sense of the process I went through that led me here. I am excited to take this on! I will post once per week for the next 6 months and I may post more often but certainly no less. Let’s do this together.